Faith is a young woman who faced childhood abuse. While still young, she began a relationship with a much older man. That was 5 years ago.
That man began by isolating her, keeping her friends and family away from her. He then began to subject her to degrading comments and actions. He told her she was stupid, ugly, and a bad person. He began to hit her shortly after.
She got pregnant and the violence escalated. When she was 3 months pregnant, he choked her to unconsciousness.
He tightened his hold on her. She was not allowed to use the phone unless she was in front of him. She had no access to the bank account or the money she earned. She was driven to and picked up from work by him every day.
She was scared of him. As his drinking increased, so did his temper. She didn’t know where to get help or how to leave him.
When she gave birth to her daughter nine months ago, no one but the abuser was allowed in the hospital, he sent her family away. When a co-worker tried to come and visit her while in the hospital, she too was turned away. She was not able to choose the name of her child.
After going home with her new baby, she wasn’t ever left alone with her daughter, the abuser never worked and was home all the time. So she stayed because she wanted her daughter. Even as the violence grew - including attacking her, dragging her down and bashing her head into the ground while she clung to her little baby, she stayed.
She did not think she was strong enough to leave him, she believed him that she was incapable of caring for herself. She believed him when he told her she was too stupid to make it on her own, and that no one would help her.
She often returned from work to be confronted with screaming, shoving and slapping. He tried to control her every move. He would tell her dozens of times a day that she should kill herself to save him the trouble of having to do it. He threatened to kill her brother, one of the few people who knew the hell she was living in.
But she was tougher than he realized. When she was pregnant she did reach out to some women who were customers at work. She began to tell her story, she called them from work or waited for them to come in. She would tell them her story in bits and pieces in the back room. They began to create a plan.
For over a year, she planned and waited to leave. She called the women in the middle of the night, sneaking out to a pay phone. She planned to leave over and over. She called the DV shelter to seek help. But she would get scared at the last minute and stay.
She found out she was pregnant again.
She did stay, telling herself she could take one more day, one more fight, one more episode of violence. Till one day she didn’t.
The fight had been brewing all day and she felt it in the air. She knew if she didn’t get out right then anything could happen. So she ran. In shorts and a t–shirt, holding her baby with nothing but a diaper she ran. She couldn’t get her possessions, she couldn’t take her baby's pictures or clothes or toys, but she wanted to live.
She wanted her daughter to live and not repeat the cycle of abuse. She wanted her daughter to see love and relationships as safe and caring. She wanted the new baby growing in her belly to begin life free of violence.
So, she is safe. She has been in our local DV shelter for 3 long, hard weeks. But she is doing it, she is starting her life over again, and we want it to be a beautiful life, and we need your help.
Help prove him wrong. She's not stupid, or worthless, she matters. She can take care of herself. And people will help her.
She has a reasonably decent job, it pays $12 and hour and she has been there for 7 years. The Shelter she is currently in has chosen her for a special transitional program because they think she has what it takes to make it on her own. The Shelter is going to be placing her in her very own apartment within the next three weeks.
All good, right? Well yes, but she left with NOTHING. Literally. No clothes, no personal items. Forget furniture, dishes, towels - she has nothing but a baby on her hip and one on the way.
And ovaries of STEEL.
We... we love Faith. Seriously, if you met her you would be reduced to a grinning pile of mush just as we are. She currently has a lawyer and is going through the painful process of protection orders and custody fights.
So what we need help with is making her a home of her own where she can raise her babies, work and be happy.
To that end we made her a wishlist at Target. (It is under one of our names because - well, we don't use her name ever, anywhere.) Everything on the list will be shipped to one of our addresses. We will have such a surprise party. Oh yes.
You can access it here:
Check out Anne Dietz's entire Wish List at:
If you don't want to send an item, or shipping is a killer - you can get a Target Gift Card and tell us what to buy with it.
If Paypal is your thing, we set up a brand new Paypal account just for her, the email is dietzanne ATT gmail DOTT com
funnydyke picked all the furnishings out according to what she knows of Faith. If you send an item, feel free to write a personal message on the gift card.
If you are broke, or just feel inclined, comment on my journal with a personal message and I will compile them into a journal for her. http://zorah.livejournal.com/
Help us make her a real home.
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